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Stunted By Reality Just another know-it-all talking about life, business, technology, sports and music.

29Jul/11Off

Songs to play when you’ve been dumped

I am no expert on being dumped, however I have been dumped a few times before and there was always one way I reacted. It’s your loss sucker! The fact that it was my Dumper’s loss is something that Er’ Indoors mostly agrees with today, except of course when she’s thinking about dumping me. Admittedly this attitude was always a psychological trick that my brain was playing on my body so that I could at least walk around with that ‘cool’ bounce single people always seem to have. More in the hopes of fooling the next Dumpee than as a sign of actual coolness. I guess that’s what they call swag nowadays.

I can’t remember the first time I was dumped but a few occasions are still ingrained in my mind almost as much as the first time I got a wedgie at school. One time in Zimbabwe I went to a school dance with my then girlfriend thinking that I was going to get dumped the minute she saw me, we hadn’t been communicating for a while and it was mostly my fault. Surprisingly we got talking and things were pleasant and all. Fast forward to the last dance that evening which just had to be a slow song; so as I was leaning in to get a better hold of my young love I heard a soft whisper above the 2,000 watts of R. Kelly, Keith Sweat, Jodeci or whatever mid 90’s crooner it was. And like that I was dumped. Just when I was thinking that the axe was not going to fall.

On an earlier occasion I had been asked by my Dumpee, “Don’t you think it’s time we broke up?” It was a question which I’d honestly not thought about latterly even though a few months earlier I’d unsuccessfully asked another girl out. A fact which had probably been discovered now.  Trying to preserve my cool and for the first time in my life adopting my ‘It’s your loss sucker’ attitude I said “I guess you’re right.” And that was that. She walked away. I couldn’t; because I had a lump in my throat and could not immediately summon that cool Bart Simpson strut. I can safely say, it was a good thing I didn’t try though otherwise I might only have moved my arms and shoulders but not my legs and probably fallen flat on my face. It was that period after school when everyone is rushing around trying to get to their sports or after school activities. It truly felt like the whole world had heard me being dumped.

I had to get over each of my lumpy throats by listening to the 20 boys in my dorm giving me advice on what I should now do. Today you’re in luck, you’ve got me to help you get over being dumped. My days being dumped are on hold for quite some time. However I have the perfect ‘It’s your loss sucker’ playlist for you. Even when you’re clearly at fault as I have mostly been when I’ve been dumped. Anything else will result in you immediately moping back to your ex and conceding every little bit of power. By all means go back with your tail between your legs, but only after a respectable I-can-live-without-you period. You may still have to claim you can’t live without them after you find out your ex has a new sucker, but that’s relationships for you.

Anyway enough about that, these are a few songs that you absolutely must play when you’ve just been dumped, regardless of what music you like;

Eagle-Eye cherry – Are you still having fun? (Download)

The title alone makes this two-hit wonder a hero of mine. Straight out of my ‘how dare you dump me’ book.  The answer to the song title may well be yes, but play this song and convince yourself that it all went down-hill for your ex the day they kicked you to the curb. "This was your mistake; and your masterplan; With all the drugs you take; you can hardly stand; After all is said and done; Are you still having fun?"

Artful Dodger  - Think about me (Download)

“There’s only one me and you can not replace me.” No doubt your ex will be hoping there’s only one you, so she doesn’t suffer the same shit twice, but why dwell on that. There’s only one you. Repeat til you believe it. I love that catchy piano riff and the soft garage bass. Ahh, those garage days!

Gregory Isaacs - Substitute (Download 1981 version)

The Cool Ruler was trying to hedge his bets in this song. Sticking pins into his ex’s voodoo doll whilst also realising that he could end up with her again. "I’d be around; so you won’t get drown; Your substitute is gonna put you down"

Arctic Monkeys - Fluorescent Adolescent (Download Fluorescent Adolescent)

Girl gets fun and exciting guy who loves her. Dumps him coz he’s too edgy, maybe flirty. Maybe he won’t commit yet. Maybe her parents didn’t like him. Now she’s settled but longs for her rascal. It least he was hers. "You used to get in your fishnets, now you only get in your night dress." Ring bells for you? Play this.

Sunset Rubdown - Idiot Heart (Download)

“I hope that you die; in a decent pair of shoes; You got a lot more walking to do; where you are going to.” The title says it all, but that line! Brilliant. This song is for when you just can’t avoid feeling mad at being dumped.

So that’s five songs for you to play next time you get dumped or right now if you’re lucky enough to be newly single. If you have anything else on loop that’s been getting you through I’d love to know what it is. No soapy or please take me back songs. Spare us.

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