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Stunted By Reality Just another know-it-all talking about life, business, technology, sports and music.

25Jan/13Off

Hazard’s kick exposes the sadness of life on Twitter

hazard ballboy gif

It's 12 minutes of normal time to go in a League Cup semi-final and Chelsea are playing away to Swansea. Given the direness of their performance up to this time, Chelsea are deservedly losing the tie though it is nil nil on the night and a couple of late goals could send it into extra -time with the chance of an unlikely victory. The ball goes out and the self-appointed king of the ball-boys faffes around delaying to give the ball back to Chelsea's young Belgian forward Eden Hazard. The ball drops to the floor with the ball-boy hitting the deck as fast as Didier Drogba hunting for a penalty, with Hazard still seeking the ball for there is the small matter of the game to get on with (which the ball boy is obliged to help with on account of his current employment). But no, he promptly manages to position himself over the ball like a flanker having broken free from a scrum to score a try with all at stake in the Rugby World Cup final. Hazard feels around for the ball using all his bedroom tactics for such unsighted foraging under heavy clothing and having felt the ball delivers a swift kick which loosens it from under the ball boy and delivers it on the other-side. Cue pandemonium.

What follows is a truly sad reflection on modern life.

The ballboy, who can be found on Twitter, has at the last count now accrued 90,000 followers! How sad do you have to be to want to follow the ballboy who comically feigned injury whilst deservedly having had a ball kicked from underneath him? Unfortunately twitter is full of such types despite anything that techies and journalists would like to tell you about it. Truly sad in a very amusing way.

 

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25Nov/11Off

I’m tired of explaining Facebook and the internet to people

Technology is here, get used to it

Maybe it shouldn't amaze me because the world is full of dumb people and it should be expected that now and again I'll run into the misguided opinions of some of them. But it's amazing that in this day and age some people still don't get that Facebook is just another communication tool. Same as text, MMS, letter, postcard, fax, phone, email, smoke signals or Morse code.

Facebook and the internet enable communication in general and are not specifically for narcissists and voyeurs. The dumb people who don't get this irritate me by trying to put across to me that they are somehow holier than I because they don't use Facebook to share their 'pregnancy news'. To say that a communication tool is sad and pathetic doesn't make sense to me. A tool is only as sad and pathetic as the information going through it. In other words if you think Facebook is sad and pathetic maybe you need to look at your 'friends' first. A communication tool can only be labelled useful, useless or other such adjectives. This doesn't apply to Twitter which as an open publishing platform that is actively trying to take on the soul of it's content. Go ahead and call Twitter sad if you like.

What people should realise is that you can have 3 connections or even less on Facebook and exclude your cousins or whoever because of that long running feud your Mom hold's against her sister for not letting her borrow her mascara when they were teens. If you were going to send photos of your newborn to your 3 siblings, Facebook is just as good a tool as any to send those pictures with. You don't even have to accept one more friendship request or make yourself discoverable to that crush from Year 6 who thinks you're the one that got away simply because one curious day you decided to give him a quick peck on the lips.

It's true that voyeurs and narcissists do have it slightly easier on Facebook but only in broadcasting to other voyeurs and narcissists. There are plenty of people who very privately share information and pictures with only the people they care about. The internet can be a lot like real life in that sense. Most of the people saying dirty jokes online would likely have been saying them offline.

Anyway, let me stop this rant before I point out about the absolute contradiction of someone actively publicising the fact that they don't publicise something! LMAO!! (as the Facebook generation would say).

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16May/09Off

neither facebook status nor twitter was enough

So I've been using Twitter for the last year or so and have found it OK. For those that don’t know it’s a micro-blogging platform. Basically, on Twitter you say what you want to your “followers” in 140 characters or less. Your message is open for all to see on the net, but your followers get a constant stream of what you and their chosen personalities have to say. In my opinion, it's a bit of a glorified group-text messaging service, but one that can be useful. In my case that usefulness was in trying to evangelise for my business, GigPay.

Personally I always try to say something engaging in my tweets. For example, instead of saying “there was a lot of traffic on the way to London”; I'd prefer to talk about my thoughts with regard to traffic. Bare with me, it's just an example, and yes, people do tweet mundane stuff like that. Instead my tweet would be something along the lines of the government’s traffic policy or my perception of people’s traffic habits. Like I said, something engaging. Short, but enough to get whoever is reading it, thinking or even responding.

Now, there are two issues with this. Firstly Twitter is not really brimming with that sort of user. Second, sometimes their 140 character limit is not enough to put across my sentiments. Therefore, I've lately been feeling the urge to express myself more than I could on Twitter. Yes, I have a partner (in the traditional sense of the word!) but that's just not enough, especially as she doesn't agree with most of my thoughts. So today I thought, well maybe I should start a blog. However, as far back as two months ago I didn’t think I had anything to blog about. I do like reading and writing, but I was convinced that the world doesn’t need to hear my opinion. There are quite a lot of loud-mouths, smart-ass*s and armchair critics already out there, and if I look around it’d be easy enough to find someone who actually says the things I want to say much better than I do!

Needless to say none of those issues stopped me slowly coming round to the idea that I might just be that guy who says things that someone else out there wants to say. Talk about having an ego! To top it all off, despite not being a celebrity, I went and named the blog after my surname. Whew!

So who am I? My name is Joe and I’m a budding entrepreneur living in the UK. I love business and I love culture.

Anyway, here we are and I want to say stuff in a little more than 140 characters. Stuff about the music business (I know, I know), business, politics, life, and whatever other BS I wanna spout. I hope to write short articles, but I’ll certainly try to make them all entertaining. Even the business ones! I’m only assured of one reader, my sister Charmaine, but that won’t stop me. I hope to post at least once a week and I promise not to abandon this blog. Otherwise I might as well have stuck to Twitter!